Memolines ~ "Yes, and..." in the interactions with my little one

I do my best to create a world for her with fewer "no's" than most kids hear. In a space where trying things and sometimes failing is okay, that curiosity thrives.

My husband and I spend a lot of time playing and talking with our little one every day. We're constantly thinking about how to create an environment where she feels confident expressing herself.

The "Look" game that never gets old

She has this game where she says "look look" while we're eating, because she wants to see what's in our mouths. We play along, opening wide for her inspection. Then I'll turn it around with "Now Mommy wants to look!" and she'll happily open her little mouth too. She is never tired of this game, and we'll keep it going as long as time allows.

Adventures with the laundry basket

We have a lightweight laundry basket at home that she loves to climb into and wear over her head like a turtle shell. I'll pretend I can't see her: "Where did my girl go? I can't find her anywhere!" She runs around trying not to laugh. Sometimes she'll run right up to me, and I'll still act puzzled: "I thought I heard her, but I don't see her!" She then giggles, and can keep this up for a good twenty minutes.

The wonderful connections her mind makes

She constantly surprises me with unexpected word combinations. She's a big fan of "dragon fruit," and recently learned about "dragonflies" at school. Out of nowhere, she announced: "Dragon fly wearing dragon fruit on the head!" I echo her words, and we both laugh. I'd never think of such playful connections because my mind is too structured by experience, but her imagination has no limits. You never know what she'll come up with next. Watching her mind work is truly fascinating.

The "Yes, and..." approach

These interactions remind me of the "Yes, and..." technique from improv comedy: when someone offers an idea, you accept it (Yes), and then build on it (and). I like this approach, and I don't hijack her ideas to teach a lesson or correct her thinking. I don't say things like "Well actually, dragonflies couldn't wear fruit because they're too small," turning our fun moment into a science lesson.

Instead, I simply follow wherever her thoughts lead, with no agenda. When she says "Mommy use soap," I just respond "Thank you for the reminder, I'll use soap" and show her the bubbles forming in my hands. She'll give a satisfied "mmm" in response.

Sometimes she seems to be talking directly to me, other times she's just thinking out loud. Either way, if she's nearby, I acknowledge what she says. If she points out "Big truck coming," I'll say "You're right, that truck is huge!" These simple responses let her know I'm listening and that her observations matter.

Creating a space with fewer "No's”

I do my best to create a world for her with fewer "no's" than most kids hear. This reminds me of something an executive I respect once shared: growing up, his family rarely told him things weren't allowed. He believes this shaped him into someone who's bold, creative, and eager to tackle challenges instead of shying away from them.

When children constantly hear "no," "don't touch," or "be careful", their natural curiosity gradually fades. But in a space where trying things and sometimes failing is okay, that curiosity thrives. This doesn't mean letting her do anything dangerous - it's about offering positive guidance within safe boundaries.

So when she wants to try something new, I usually let her go for it. If she's not quite ready, we just wait until she is. I want her to grow at her own pace, develop her own perspective, and build the confidence she'll need to face whatever comes her way.