How my vision of happiness shifts as I grow
These days, I don't struggle with trying to have both a perfect family life and a stellar career. I focus my attention on what matters most to me, and I don't regret not choosing a different path.
Recently, I had an interesting conversation with my colleague about how our vision of happiness changes throughout our lives. It got me thinking about what happiness looks like at different stages of my journey.
As a child, I didn't really understand what happiness meant. I simply followed my parents' guidance, living in the environment and atmosphere they created for our family. I was just passively absorbing the influence of that environment.
Once I started living independently, my pursuit of happiness became entirely my own. Fresh out of college, I was eager to learn and had plenty of time on my hands, so I poured myself into work-related activities—attending various events and constantly working on self-improvement. Back then, happiness seemed to be that sense of achievement found in being busy and fulfilled.
After getting married, my time wasn't just my own anymore, and happiness became something shared between two people. It was about finding the right balance between spending time together and maintaining our individual space. This was a big shift, and it took me quite a while to adjust and find a comfortable rhythm. Later, when we got a dog, our lifestyle changed again, with daily walks becoming part of our routine. Then when we started a family, everything changed even more dramatically.
At this stage of my life, happiness looks like watching our little family unit grow together in a comfortable space. We observe our little one's growth while growing ourselves through our interactions with her. While keeping family at the center, I try to maintain a good balance between work and life. At work, I still strive to create value and find meaning in what I do.
Everyone has their own idea of what happiness looks like. Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I had a different definition of happiness right now. Some people throw themselves completely into their careers, others dedicate themselves entirely to family life. For me, neither of those extremes fits my current vision of happiness.
What I find fascinating about life is that our vision of happiness changes as we move through different stages, and our behaviors and focus need to shift accordingly. While each change might require an adjustment period, having a clear sense of direction prevents us from getting caught in the impossible pursuit of "having it all."
These days, I don't struggle with trying to have both a perfect family life and a stellar career. I focus my attention on what matters most to me, and I don't regret not choosing a different path. This is perhaps my ideal state—feeling confident in my choices and at peace with myself.